August 5

Well it is a big day today. Today we meet with the folks at Paradise for an official interview. This is exciting and yet, well I don't know how to describe it, I worry/wonder about how this will work with the family times. I am sure that if God wants this to work out He will certainly work out those details too. I wonder what the girls are going to do. We can have Willow but she has to be an outside dog (which I am not a fan of). This could be a good thing for the girls to be able to maybe find a place of their own but we will see.

It is strange to that we don't have the Rondo anymore. I have never have that happen before but for some strange feeling I feel like a big burden has been lifted.

God, today I ask for peace. Peace for our family at home, peace for our kids family and peace in our souls. We want your will to be done in the Paradise opportunity and it all of our lives. Father I ask for guidance and help with Kylie's school bill. You have already done amazing work!! And I am so very thankful for that. Thank you for loving us when we are not what we should be. Thank you for giving us grace and for giving it so freely.

Monday August 2, 2010

We had a good weekend with family! Did some shopping at Anderson on Saturday then we had dinner at Bethany's on Sunday. Good time was had by all.

Still haven't gotten paid yet. Waiting to see if anyone shows up here at work.

As I continue to struggle through all of this I have to trust that God has a plan and He is still there. Money as always is tight but it is tighter more so now then ever before and it has been like this for quite some time now. I have mixed feelings about the Paradise position. I know financially it will be a huge blessing. I just don't know if my heart is in it for the right reasons. That is part of my prayer is that God will show us the way we should go.

God,

Today I thank you for all you have done for us. For the health we have had, for the safety, for the joy, for the excitement of seeing our grandsons and for your continued direction and guidance. Father I ask that today will be a good day. That you will be glorified. That there will be a peace on us all because we know that you are in control. Please bless us financially today so that this stress can be taken off of us. We love you Father and we thank you.

Big Decisons

During the past nine months I have experienced more roller coaster rides then I have experienced during my entire existence. There were times of elation and joy and times of despair and deep sadness. To have our whole world turned upside down at a point in our lives when life should be easier, when the hard work of previous years was paying off and the stresses of life were going to be less and less.

Apparently God had something else in mind and not just for me but I think for the whole family. During these past nine months we have had to draw closer to one another in many different ways and that has helped us become closer as a family. We are still far from perfect but I can see where God is working and that is worth the difficult times. To see our children get closer to God even to get angry with God shows me that they are aware of Him and what He can do.

Nine months without work. That is a really long time. It helped me have a greater appreciation for the women who are pregnant! I didn't have morning sickness but I did have a heart sickness where my heart was hard and cold. But even in those dark times I knew that God was working and that was the one glimmer of hope. That was all I needed.

So here we are today. Considering whether this ministry opportunity to work with college age missionary kids is where God wants us to be. Considering employment options. These are exciting times to be sure and we really don't know what the future holds but I do know this. That God loves us. That He wants us to have a full life in Him. That He is the same God who provided for us during those nine months and He is not going to change.

What else is there to know?!

New challenge, New Directions, New Focus

I knew that the day was coming. I kind of knew the day it was going to happen. October 6th, after a little more then 9 years at the St. Pete Times, my career there was over. Part of a major layoff that impacted 5 other IT folks as well as many others in various departments.

As I drove home that day I felt a sense of peace and that a huge burden was lifted. I felt that the future would be bright and that we would be in a better place because of this.

Well here it is 3+ months later. We are in a better place physically for sure. God opened the doors for us to move to be closer to our family. I don't have as much peace about things like I did before and the burden that was lifted in October is back and even heavier then before. Now the burden is how are we going to pay for.... How are we going to be able to go to Senegal in March? How... (you can fill in the blanks).

I decided today (finally right) that I needed to have a serious time in the Word and prayer today. As I was trying to figure out where to start reading God led me to Matthew 6 and the section on not to worry. It is so much more easier to say not to worry when things are going well. When you have a job, when most of the bills are being paid, when life is just life. But now telling me not to worry is like telling a bird not to fly. But after reading and praying I know that I am going to worry but I also know that God is working and that I need to look for the answers to prayer that He has already given and rejoice in that! For example during this move no one got hurt or injured, that a house was basically given to us without the usual hoops, that God has kept us in a pretty good state of mind and that we are right where God wants us to be.

This is a faith testing time for sure. Who knows what the future holds but I have to keep on reminding myself that God has us going through this for a reason. I just pray that I figure out the reason soon :)